Saturday, January 17, 2004
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+ how is me +
sometimes i'm wondering why do i still treat her so good. recently, i bought a nike towel and adidas sport bra for her. sometimes i wish i'm wealthy, so that i can buy alot things for her. i'm silly till, whatever things, clothes or bags i'm gonna buy, i think of buying for her. ya, i know she is not my girlfriend anymore. furthermore, all my friends want me to give her up. know what? i can give her up, but i cant give up loving her. tommy ask me if i still love her? that was a difficult question to me. in the past, i would say yes immediately without hesitation because i knew i love her alot. now, its difficult for me, its not that my love has fade for her. it is because
i cant love her. even verbally, i was forbbided to say i still love her. please friends, dont ask me if i still love her. u all know i did. well, i'm contented now, happy and got freedom. but i can sense, bad things gonna happen soon. i'm afraid i couldnt tolerate anymore. sometimes i wonder if she still love liangmin and mah? though, we almost everyday get to see each other, i dont dare to ask. all i know is, she wanna take a break. she dont wanna go into any relationship. but know what? she told me that before but in the end she fall for liangmin. my heart still hurt alot when i mention her (liangmin). like someone's rubbing salt on my wound. -ouch- =/ well, just now was on the phone with her, i cant control myself again and i ask her is it liangmin call her or she call liangmin? because lirong never call me to chat le. she said she is lazy to talk. ya, can sense lahz.
previous page(aaa, i mean i extracted diz diary out fr my own hands-on diary which she also read and write on my diary.. funny right? reading what i don wanna let her know de things), she mentioned its a difficult question to answer me if she is agree to everyone to, i need to give her up. if she couldnt answer, is it means she wants me to go as well as want me to stay beside her? i dont know. i dont wanna know the truth either. hmm.. how i wish time can stop right now. i just wanna live my life with her like, going to school to see her and study, have lunch with her, receive little sms from her of the small small little things she gonna tell me or the not-so-important things she gonna say or her complains during our lesson, then have trainings together which we would use the same towels, friendly matches, go town rot, kill time, long long one time watch a movie with her, shoppings, play pool and even play tortoise-tortoise-jump when we are on our way to some other place that is far or listen to the same songs together with my discman, either she lies on my shoulder or i lie on hers when on our way to town on the 106 bus.. when exams nearing, study together at the coffee club xpress, halfway we would go take neo-prints! haha. i dont mind julian joining us, dont mind a friend joining our actually two-person-only dinner. i really dont mind. as long as we are happy, she is happy, she dont get irritated of me, she wont feel sians of me, she is comfortable with me, she cares for me, i'm contented le. even if she cant give me anything i mentioned, i wish if she can treat me like how she treats julian? frankly speakin, i'm envy of julian, because i can feel she prefers not pang say-ing julian for lunch than me. and she prefers working together with julian than me. haisss.. mayb she feels more comfortable with her ba. she told me is because julian is her only friend who she needs to take care of, and the rest of her friends are taking care of her. that is why she never fails to be there for julian. that is howwwww good.. haha! then i also dont wanna take care of lirong le. let her take care of me. =b
+ by jacob. +
| tiffany. 1:09 AM|
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Thursday, January 08, 2004
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+ i dream about you +
there was a time in my life, when i opened my eyes and there you were. you were more then a dream. i could reach out and touch you ger, that was long ago. there are some things that i guess i will never know.
when you love someone you got to learn to let them go. when i dream about you, that's when everything's alright. you're in my arms, here next to me,
forever.. when i dream about you, ger u never go away. just close my eyes wait for my dreams.
cuz i still love loving you..
+ she doesnt love me.. because of wad i am.. +
| tiffany. 5:40 PM|
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