Tuesday, January 31, 2006
--

my dear!

| tiffany. 3:57 PM|
__________
--

happy new yr!

| tiffany. 3:54 PM|
__________
--

with huijia my chiobu

| tiffany. 3:54 PM|
__________
--
i spoilt everything. i spoilt the fun. i was drunk. i said wrong things i did wrong things.
i hurt you.
| tiffany. 2:31 PM|
__________
Sunday, January 29, 2006
--

diz is my cousin-niece - zen

| tiffany. 2:39 PM|
__________
--
ha diz yr chinese new yr so funny. first ismy new yr eve with lala liangmin and jun. we surprised lala by knockin at her window. we were damn scare la. cuz cannot let her family kno we look for her. esp me and jun. cuz we're soooo boy.. in the end we have no choice we asked liangmin knock the door cuz that stupid lala off her handphone. then we played the crackers, bomb bag and the gun popper la. jun chicken la. she so scare of the gun popper. its so fun lo. me and liangmin gang up to bully jun. and we tried very hard to scare lala by using the bomb bag however, we failed la. hahaa. then we went to nearby basketball play basketball. sooo fun! people shout at us and ask us to shut up. but we heck. play like mad. the whistle crackers louder than our voices lo i dunno why they scold us at our voices. wadeva. well, after our ball game we played bridge. somebody kno how to bid dunno how to win the game la. i almost vomit blood when i kno she call me as her partner. hahaha but very very funny. she is juz a beginner but she really kno how to confuse us. wadeva. next time i shall outbid u! hiak.
anyway we played till 6am. i slept for 2hrs then people come flooding my house liao. so sianss at first. i lazy to talk lo budden when i arrive at my uncle house i saw my cousin-niece i damn enthu la. i miss her so much. ever since i stop work i never see her le. she is still the same. she still love me so much. well i taught her use my camera phone. haha a blur photographer anyway. her hands too small to actually press the buttom la. i love her to the bit!
| tiffany. 2:16 PM|
__________
Friday, January 27, 2006
--

wheee today i so highh

| tiffany. 4:29 AM|
__________
Thursday, January 26, 2006
--
one fine day, donkey strolling in the park. happily, as he walked, he waved hello and smiled to the birds and monkeys. suddenly donkey lost his balance and fell. with a loud thud, he landed. he opened his eyes and took a glance. oh my god ! where am i? he muttered, anxiously. breakin out in cold sweat, donkey lifted his head and the bright sunlight blinded him. donkey squinted; and it dawned on him that he must have fallen into a pit! "help me! help me! ive fallen!" donkey shouted, in desperation.
fortunately, some villagers were passing by. they stopped and peered into the deep, dark hole. "oh! poor donkey! let's get him out!" the villagers grasped, and decided to pull donkey out of the pit with their rope. with a huff and a puff, the villagers used their might to pull the poor donkey up. but donkey was too heavy! soon, more and more villagers gathered and attempted to save donkey. the swetlering hot sun made the villagers sweaty and thirsty. after hours of struggling, the villagers finally gave up. "donkey's too heavy! its impossible to get him out!" mr big nose said. "poor donkey will die of thirst down there..." mr gloomy replied and peered at donkey, who looked helpless and exhausted too.
and the villagers sighed and nodded their heads. recognising that donkey will die eventually, mr big nose said, "we should bury him, at least, donkey will not have to suffer..."
everyone was silent. they pondered. some of them wept. mr big nose grabbed a handful of sand and threw it into the pit, and then, another handful, another handful.... soon, everyone was pouring sand into the pit. donkey cried. "please, i beg all of you; dont bury me, please!" donkey sobbed. "please, i wanna live!"
but the villagers ignored his cries and did not stop pouring the sand into him. scuffling, donkey struggled and stepped on the sand. more and more sand came pouring from above. as the sand poured, donkey climbed, and climbed. higher and higher...
before the villagers could realised it. donkey was already coming up to the ground soon! heaving and grasping, donkey took a huge step and VOILA! he's out of the pit! the villagers clapped and screamed with loud whoops of joy. donkey uttered a deep sigh of relief. he finally free. he was glad that everything was over and he could live again. mr big nose did not dare to look at donkey in his eyes; he said, "im very sorry... i kno i was cruel..."
donkey stared and mr big nose's words raced through donkey's mind. after a few moments of sileence, donkey frowned. "thanks you! it wouldnt have been possible for me to escape without the help of all of you!" donkey shrieked. "how can i ever express my gratitude? you hav saved my life!"
never grouse when it seems like everyone around is giving you a hard time; be thankful that they did. never cry because they have given up on you; they are just giving you the chance to help yourself. never give up even when they are making life difficult for you; because, in the end, you are the one who learns, and overcomes the life's obstacles. be proud because you've made till the end.
director: jacob
script writer: angela
| tiffany. 12:28 AM|
__________
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
--

she is sooooo pretty

| tiffany. 4:45 AM|
__________
--
went out with lachelle and tricia to chinatown. gosh nothin to buy. all so cheena. after that meet up with jun at lixuan's pub. rahhh! nothin to write la. like suddenly ive got no mood. went online. alot talk to me.. hmm first yiling. she saw my blog and said she envy lirong. why? because at least i still care for her. i was like ohh there's something wrong with yiling. she said flo dont really care for her. silly girl. sometimes i muz admit, guys are abit insensitive than woman. or maybe flo express it wrongly? not everyone is good at expressings themselves. like my english is bad i dunno how to use good words to express myself to my love ones.
after that i chat with jun. then lala. they tell me their stuffs too. ahah ive got so many secrets to keep. then my son, ber. he told me his best friend betrayed him. gosh. poor son. havin depression. so i listen again. then lirong come in and things happened. all things at the same time. she's very very angry at me. i took very long to ask for forgiveness. then i told her the donkey story. next time shall post it here. waiting for someone to end the story for me. well, my main point of writing diz blog is.. who ever care to listen to my stuffs? who is there to listen to my whine? huh?
| tiffany. 2:16 AM|
__________
Monday, January 23, 2006
--

see we so cutee so u don cry le la.

| tiffany. 1:10 AM|
__________
--
lala don so sianss la. talk halfway u keep quiet. i kno very xinku nothing is impossible, it juz tough. can make it de. give yourself time. more time maybe. yes diz time u need more determination. we will be there. no matter if u wan us to be by your side or u wan us to leave u alone. be by ya side means stand beside u and prepare to lend u our shoulder. leave u alone means not standing beside u anymore but juz 1m away from u. in case u suddenly need us. =)
| tiffany. 1:02 AM|
__________
Friday, January 20, 2006
--
i wanna walk away.. but im afraid tat ure giving yaself time to heal the wound ive cause. im afraid tat ure sorting things out and u'll wanna come bac to me. i wanna stay. i do. i wanna make u happy. i love none other then u. im afraid too lachelle. why are we both afraid? why is this getting so complicated?
i don wan u to solve this alone. im in a difficult position. to stay or leave? if i ask u this question, u sure ask me to leave. i kno u too well le. u don wan me to suffer. so do i. u keep everything to myself. u pretend nothing wrong in front of ya colleagues. deep inside ure 10times pain than me. my heart hurts when i see tears from ya eyes. i tried so hard to make u smile at me. not cry. i tell u jokes or rather cold jokes. i give u lame riddles. i tell u my stories of what im doing recently and what happen to whom and whom. i wanna let u kno what's going on to me recently. i wanna kno urs too. but.. im afraid to kno the truth. truth hurts. i don wanna kno anymore.. no more.. i wont ask anymore. but if u say i listen. im a good listener now.. i promise..
ok. stop those emo words. well, if ure craving for esplanade hokkien mee, kallang airport wantan mee, katong laksa, city plaza's duck rice, geylang you tiao, lau pat sat's stingray, my house here de prawns noodle or rather my maggie mee come to me.
not that we're not together u cant come find me
| tiffany. 3:01 AM|
__________
Thursday, January 19, 2006
--

jacob with lachelle !

| tiffany. 5:35 AM|
__________
--
my kbox session with lachelle ouw was great! taught her to sing some tough and also cutee songs.. diz ger tone deaf one la. if i sing with her wil kena affected den i wil out-of-tune too. eh after all she is my out-of-tune "chi zhao hai you ni" girlfriend. but surprisely she sings well tonight. never go out-of-tune. heh heh. so happy tonight. =)
| tiffany. 5:32 AM|
__________
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
--

our anniversary. on the 3rd.

| tiffany. 4:14 AM|
__________
--
went bt timah with boy jun and lala. very long never go there le ever since.. hmm i used to bring her to bt timah to eat prata. her fav is onion prata, sometimes cheese prata sometimes egg. she used to laugh at me that i never eat tissue prata before. well until now i haven try before, is like not appetizing lo. hmm i used to watch movie with her too. i remember ive collected 46 movie tickets that ive watched with her. all the tickets is with her. hoho. mmm she likes to watch horror movie which i dont like. im scare la i muz admit. everytime i'll hide behind her. ha so lousy. not man liao. we used to hug each other in the cinema. now no more le. not used to it. no sense of security. when can we go catch our next movie?
hmm used to send her home everytime we go out. already very familiar with her area. that time i remember she asked me i still remember how to go her house. i was like duhh.. i still remember every little thing. clearly.. remember the way she kiss me. her cute face expression. they way she hug me, tightly.. like im going to let her go and she dont wanna let me go. the silly face that used to sleep beside me in my arms i will forever remember. sometimes she drool.. haha. sometimes she snatch my blanket and my bolster. haha but everytime i will squeeze her to one corner.. poor girl. hmm i kno she is still hugging the pig i gave her and the mini pillow i sew for her. heh. sleep well my dear.. i really miss youu.. miss you now..
| tiffany. 3:54 AM|
__________
Monday, January 16, 2006
--
wad can i do to reassure u? tell me please.. im confused now.. i wanna make u happy even if we're not together. even if u shoo me off i'll stil be there. my skin very thick one. wad pride i don care. i wont leave u never. kno wad? after recieving ya msg i reacted so calmly. i kno why u msg me that. i kno wad ure angry for. but im confused now. i dont think i can sleep tonight. i need to think a way to reassure ya feelings. i need to.. its juz two msges of all the scoldings and im highly affected. what happen to me when i reacted so calmly? is it because i kno u too well le? is it because i don hav faith in the future? that u'll come bac. well, ive confidence if one day we really can get bac, i'll love u more then u love me.. i'll not leave u until u leave me.. i'll give me.. i'll control temper.. tho im still learning.. i'll make effort de..
| tiffany. 3:20 AM|
__________
--
u really misunderstand me diz time. i din kno u'll get upset for i deleted all our photos in ya frenster. its not that i don wanna see ya face or wad. its not that i don wan my face to be in ya frenster photo. im not good at words if i ever offend u tell me what can i do to make u happy?
its not that ive my own life now and i no need u. my frens cant give wad u'll give u kno? im a human too. i need to sleep need to eat need to be love. now ive no one to love me like i love u. i can only love my frens and family. u wan me to cry everyday? u wan me to stay at home everyday? im not blaming u, i kno why u reacted like diz. if my frens are not around me, i'll go crazy again. by tat time u'll find me irritating. i dunno which way i can do to release my pain.
if only u can come bac? i wont feel the pain anymore..
if u come bac, we'll be better. u told me tat ure afraid of getting hurt again if we get bac. if i tell u i wont hurt u anymore u'll say because i want u bac now so i promise u everything. we cant predict the future. but in another words, u cant confirm i will cheat on u. u cant confirm who will hurt who. diz is part of our life. yes. im wrong. i hurt u badly.. its really very tongku. we love each other but we cant be together. wad is diz? the pain is more than uve another person in ya mind or u don love me anymore. because u leave me hanging there. even if u tell me not to wait im still like diz. ive no special feelings for anybody except u. i yearn for u. i want u. i need u. i never think of when will u come bac. i dont dare to even dream of it. i juz want to let it happen naturely. but i can tell u. its not easy or fast to let me get over u. we've been together for one and a half years. thats consider long for me. we did everything together. now ure gone. only frens around me stays.
if only u can go out with me and my frens too. laugh together..
:(
| tiffany. 2:45 AM|
__________
Sunday, January 15, 2006
--

we belong together.

| tiffany. 5:27 AM|
__________
--
blog blog blog. juz came bac from a kbox session with jun and lixuan. eh i slept for like four hours only. then went down to meet jun to cine galilee find lala. bored la. hungry also. my stomach rumbling loudly while i was doing my hair la. oh well i got a haircut and a dye. lala said nice hor. but ber asked me i dyed black is it. sheese her. haha. nvm i like can liao.
eh after listened to jun's story and read her blog i got diz scary feeling. scare that lirong treat me that way too. as in not kena beaten but being lead on. false hope. anyway we had a small talk yesterday under her block. she said. she is afraid of going bac to me and fall deeply to me and later on i cheat on her again. oh gosh. i went speechless. i dunno how to react la. its true. well i deserved it. i told jun diz. everytime when ure feeling really really really upset. when ure asking yourself why do she leave u. think, what we did before that lead diz to happen. what we do to make them leave us. what we do to make them dont trust us initially. we deserved it. alright? treat it as a lesson we learnt. ok? hmm..
lirong: silly. fri i'll be goin down wif u wat. let me handle e situation. i wont let them bully u. hahaha! u've been protectin me for so long, now its my turn. whee!
lirong: i dunno wat i can say. i kno uve changed for e gd n i kno u really love me alot but im too scared now. i dunno wat wil happen e nex time u don love me anymore. u can say u don mind anything now but are u sure tat u wont bring up e past in e future? will u be able to forget? yup.. tats how i feel..
lirong: uve ur life and frens now. will u be able to get use to havin a partner ard again? our life has changed n i dunno whether we stil can be like before.
me: so recently ure worried bout diz? why u nv ask me am i really gd now? ive change anot i myself also dunno. i can endure anot i stil dunno. i cant promise anything but i'll try. if only ure willing to gif me another chance. it takes time.
me: now my life its jus goin out wif e same frens w/o u ard. why u nv ask me am i use to it? im learnin to control myself. i dunno y i trust u so much. mayb its bcuz i knew its over we're not possible so whatever e outcome is, it doesnt matter.
me: why u nv ask if im use to ride alone? why u nv ask if im use to slp alone? why u nv ask if im use to laugh alone? why u nv ask if im use to dance wif them? why u nv ask if im use to go sbc alone or eat prata alone?
me: i hate havin nightmares n ure nt dere to hug me to tel me its only a nightmare. i hate ppl asking me y u nv come wif me. i hate ppl ask wad happened to us. i hate to kp findin progs everyday bcuz im afraid to b alone. i hate to look for jobs cuz im afraid u'd ask me out n im nt free. i hate e way u left me. i hate myself for deceiving u before. i hate myself for not cherishin u as much as u did..
me: we'll not b like before. we'll b beta. ya mom gif u pressure, it wont change ya thinkin to turn straight. its not e time yet. u kno yourself. jus stick to ya mind. pressure is necessary one. im here. u can confide in me. im a gd listener now.
me: i always go out wif jelvin, boy, kim, lm, lx, dunearn ppl, lala, fiona they all. imagine if ure ard me. u'll add on to my joy.
me: we've separated for 29days. but i stil wan u to snatch my blanket. i stil wan u to hug my bolster. i stil wan u to spread ya leg across my body. i stil wan to help clean ya room. i stil wan to pat u to sleep. i stil wan to hug u wif my strong arms.. when can i do diz again?
| tiffany. 4:44 AM|
__________
Saturday, January 14, 2006
--
yoo hoo.. im playin mahjong now. waikim, yanbing, june and bao at my house now. i combined with yanbing. her luck damn good la. what she wants just come la. eh before i reach home something bad happen. really bad. please bro dont make us worry for you can? i hate the feeling. please protect yourself from you-kno-who. i kno that kind of hurt la. i kno ure afraid but please.. hope everything is fine out there. i wish that your wish come true. -grin-
eh just went to watch sp vs nyp match. tho they lost, great fight. lala scored 2pts. hmm at erm around 3rd quarter she got her bloody rebound la. i observed. oh haixin. she's great. the star la. i saw her steal yunyun's ball, that's cool. as for the rest i no comment la. its not the end yet. we still have one more chance remember? even the least chance is still a chance you kno? NTU. we gonna win la. anyway i enjoy watching you guys play la. feeling is great. tho i cant play. well.. im gonna continue my mahjong!
| tiffany. 4:32 AM|
__________
Friday, January 13, 2006
--
sour green grapes! im havin it now. today went to watch a duper borin show with jun and lala. omg. derailed. so bored. can die. tho jennifer aniston is starrin. so sexy. so hot. muahaa. eh then jun brought us to marina south learn car. i seriously heart beat very fast when its lala's turn to drive. her braking skills cannot make it. we can fly out that kind. among all she's the worse! lala u cannot learn ok? i discourage u to learn. don make the instructor suffer please. eh now we're so into blog. affected by jun la. eh jun 23 liao den blog. outdated la. eh wonder what will lala write on her blog bout us. she say she will take very long to write. eh i hate essay. nothin to write liao. waiting for jun to come back. oh tmr nyp vs sp. cool. all the best. boy all the best. don paranoid la. sure win!
| tiffany. 1:58 AM|
__________
Thursday, January 12, 2006
--

big jun and me

| tiffany. 5:01 PM|
__________
--
zillionss years liao i never touch. i realised people feel depress then they blog. am i really depress or what sheese? sigh. i don dare to face it la. i chose to avoid. jun should kno. avoid may not be the best thing. but short term and temporary less hurt. im not that kind of person who look far. DON EXPECT ANYTHING IN RETURN. kinda my motto. its different now i guess. u cant use the same method or rather thinking. different issue. one thing i can confirm.
nothin is impossible. its just tough.
| tiffany. 7:24 AM|
__________