Saturday, November 29, 2003
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+ i miss you so much +
yea.. i cannot deny
i still mish u alot. wadeva i do nw oways remind me of u. though i may look ok outside, inside me i still hurt alot. no one noes. nobody. ydae, i organised a outing to ktv. i booked a room at cuppage plaza and i din ask her go. she's not suspose to go. diz outing forbids her. well, its bcuz me n mah became frens again le. -stunned- she called me and said actually there's notin to quarrel le. cuz both of us lose liaos. oh pls! wad lose, i din say wanna compete wif her wad. -diao- is juz tt i love lirong, i wanna win her heart.
DEN HOW WE NOE WE CAN LOSE TO A PASSIVE!! SERIOUSLY LIRONG GOT SUCH A BAD TASTE! SHE'S AINT CHIO OR SHUAI LO! urgh! she gt money?! haiya lr don go for money one. she bt couldnt control herself one. hope she can change to a beta person. to me, she's now a suckie person. sux to e core. why do i sound like i so hate her? haiya is liddat one la. she treated me so bad. is damn damn damn blardy hell bad tt kind. she jus gt over mah and nw another one! cannot take it liao la~ gosh~ is bcuz she go for tt passive den i decided to gif up one. cuz if i continue loving her, we'll nv stop quarrelling. cuz i get jealous easily. i dunno if she still hav a little feelin for me. cuz wad she said wad she did is like dere's a little. newae wadeva it is rite? i muz control. even if next time she loves me back. i shouldnt turn back. cuz she jus sux. err i sux too.. suck-er den her. cuz i love a sucky person. i insult her as well as insulted myself.
newae tok bout e ktv ba. i jio-ed daze, huihui, boi, weiling, june, haixin, angela, mah go ktv! haha quite fun la. den sarah, hsiaoling and a new fren evonne joined us for awhile. at first, it was quite fun whn angela, june and mah haven arrive. den it bcum sian.. cuz dere's underage in our rm!! we cant order liquor!!! urgh! i was damn pissed wif tt ktv! lousy! i wont visit dem anymore! SUX! no volka one. my fav. hmm bt den aft sarah dey all left we sing n sing n sing, stupid june err oso jelvin sing aerosmith - i don wanna miss a thing - sing until so loud and sound so like him!! aerosmith damn ugly lo! hahah bt jelvin imitated him. erxin la. haha! we all laugh until pengs! -fall dwn- hmm den 3am liddat we go nearby cafe eat lo. den go esplanade drink. finally we can drink. crazy mah din dilute e volka! she drank pure volka and its 40% lo! siao one. haiya she's in misery la. she cant forget lirong. after all dey together for ard 2yrs le ba. 1yr plus is officially stead. e rest is desire. eh shld i say its desire? haa wadeva. hmm den jelvin and mah drunk! hahah stupid jelvin a joker! she drunk dao vomit den walk here and dere den she pengs on e bushes!! ahhahahaha! lolz we laugh dao siao. she walk walk den fall into e bushes! damn funni! it hurts too i guess. hahah! hmm tt'z all la.. shall stop here.
+ i muz control don say her anymore +
| tiffany. 5:41 PM|
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Friday, November 28, 2003
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+ i cant play the song +
Looking at your picture laying on my bed
Wishing I was pulling close the real you instead
I don't know what I said or did
But girl I'm missing you
And I like to hear my music
But there's nothing I can listen to
Cos I can't play the song I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling starts before the intro halfway thru
Everyone reminds me of the things we used to do together
And I cant go to places that I used to take you to
Cos everywhere the faces there they all look just like you
Until your heart comes back where it belongs
I can't play the songs
Everywhere I'm drivin' I go a different way
I can't turn on my radio, afraid what they might play
My friends all drive me crazy cause you're all they ask about
And why I live in silence but they just don't understand
Without you, I can't play the song I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling starts before the intro halfway thru
No one can replace you cause once I tried
And even when I try to go with someone new
You are so deep in my head
I looked into her eyes but then I said your name instead
Until your heart comes back where it belongs
I can't play the songs
There's nothing left that I can do cause I so lost in love with you
No where to turn, no place to run
You know you are my only one
I can't play the song you used to sing along with me
Cause' everyone is always bringin' back the memory
Until your heart is back where it belongs
I can't play the songs (won't you please come back to me)
+ suits me huh? +
| tiffany. 5:42 PM|
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003
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+ totally affected by her +
lr: i tink we cant even b frens lo.. i oso cant msg u n its vy xinku too.. lidat i rather we foreva don contact.. very affected by wat u said..
buddy: she gt ppl dere to make her happy, remember?
lr: u wont b able to accept my past.. nv ever will u b able to do it.. i'll change for my own sake.. i don care wat ppl tink of me.. tk care my fren..
the above sms msg is fr her n my bud. one moment she said we don contact n mayb aft i return fr thai i'll c a brand new lr. the very next dae she said she was very affected by wad i've said. she feel xinku i noe. am xinku too. though we said don contact each other le bt she stil msg me. she jus jolly well msg me i wont b able to accept her past. yea.. diz part she don understand me. i really will accept de. who is perfect one u tel me? everyone is imperfect. i did wrong things too. doin wrong things b4 is nt totally wrong bt nt acceptin tt u're wrong n don bother to change is unforgiven. i noe its easier said den done. bt u stil hav to try. jus like i muz learn to gif u up. learn to divert my attention whneva i tink of her. learn to kp cool whn i hear bad stuffs of u over n over again. learn to b strong. learn to b independent. i gt nasty temper. i'll b sarcastic to her whn i gt angry. its super ultimate sacarstic til i cn feel she really did hate me. so i muz learn to kp cool. cannot sacarstic to her. bt i everytime fail ! sigh! wad's wrong wif me?! am nt liddat last time. hmm if i did nt get so upset wif her, is tt means my feelin fade for her or i've learnt to kp cool? well, nvm i nv stop loving her. at least for nw. hmm ya she may b true tt its easier to said den done. initially, i cant accept bt i stil have to accept. i mean am willing to learn to accept. who don hav past. last time i was damn blardy hell flirt. lr, i'll accept de.
i swear~ even if u're my gerfren i'll believe u tt u've changed de. i believe u cn one. really.. i noe u're xinku rite nw. ya frens had said tt to u including me. is like half of ya frens r gone. tel u wad, its nt lo. u shld noe yaself weiling n anna nv left u. jus like wad u oways say.. u may treat me as totally true frens nw n stil mad abt wad i've said, u stil nt gotta leave rite? i've tok to anna n i noe she stil cares alot for u. she wanna noe alot abt u. weiling oso. lr, am givin u up oready. its nt tt i cannot accept u're like diz den i wanna stop loving u. i cant accept tt u love lm. or shld i say.. i muz learn how to accept e fact tt u fall for lm den decide whether to gif up. haiya diz kinda thing cannot immediately decide one. am givin u up bcuz am tired oready. last time i muz worry u n mah wil b back again. nw, u got over her liao.. i muz worry abt u n lm. its nt e progess of waiting u tt hurts me most.. is e part tt u're attach to someone. u understand? if i gif u up b4 u attach to anyone, mayb i wont feel much hurt. time heal the pain. am in all fault to cuz diz situation, if i've gt gd temper we wont quarrel so often. if i cn control myself fr gettin jealous easily, we wont quarrel. yupp. its me.
ITS ALL MY FAULT.
+ muz nt b
sarcastic if i heard any bad things related to her +
| tiffany. 1:14 AM|
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Monday, November 24, 2003
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+ furst entry, a sad one +
yay i gt my own blog liaos. diz blog is so pathetic tt cn put so so so lil things. hmm bt den gt my fav midi so nvm la. heh heh. hmm yday i went clementi for e national youth team thin. though i cant play bball for e time being. mr teo allow me to return to e team whn am fully recover. haa hope so. den we're goin to trg tour on 17th! yay~ cn bondin wif hui, daze, boi, angela n err the rest la.. hopefully i cn go la. den aft super blardy hell tough trg (haa i nv trg) we went makan at S11 den go play pool. den me, boi n hui go town. dey told me alot alot things.. things tt related to lr n mah. sigh! i realli cannot take it. i msged her. den i confront her. its damn disappointing. i stood infront of erm forgot e shop liao.. newae somewhere 2nd floor of far east la.. i was cryin terribly. everyone was like, wad happened to me? wad talkin to lr as well. cried quite long. haa make boi n hui paiseh oso. so big oready stil cry in public. well, me n her nt gonna contact le. i called her aft i rched hm. we tok. tok alot. she cried. cried alot i suspose. i win. haha i manage to hold back my tears. are we realli nt meant to be oready? boi n hui ask me to leave.. i tel boi to warn me all e time cannot msg her. cannot treat her gd. me n lr agree we don contact each other for a few weeks, see how thing goes. bt aft we hang up, she msged me "-ger fren- i've learnt my mistake n i noe i need to change.. i'll change de.. gif me time.. hope by e time u come back from thai, i'll be a brand new lr.. tc!!". she msged me diz last nite aft we hang up. i replied orite. we shall see. the very next morn she msged me "jacob, i realised its me tat cant be frens wif u..from now on, tk care of urself.. wun ask athg from u.. hmm, tanya is a nice ger so go for it..all e best". seriously she's crazy. last nite say agreed to nt to contact liao. den very next morn liddat somemore say things tt i don wanna hear. i oready resist myself nt to msg her oready. haiya too used to it liao. she said she is very affected by wad i've told her last nite. those bad stuffs she means la. boi said she cannot accept how bad she was tt's why she said diz kinda thing. and she is very xinku now cuz she's losing someone who loves her so much, and tt's me. i realli dunno wad she actually wants. tot i gif up her is wad she wants. she said i oways quarrel wif her. gif her sadness onli. lm gave her happiness. oh man! HAIZ! i realli cannot accept she actually fall for lm. darnit! wadeva~ shall end here.
+ muz nt msg u until u msg me +
| tiffany. 9:55 AM|
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