Friday, December 26, 2003

--

+ what should i do? +

can i carry on loving you

or should i turn it into hate

or do neither need to be here

because maybe its too late

is it safe to still remember

or is it best to slam the door

if i walk away from our memories

will the pain truly be no more

can i hold on to the hope

that you will return someday

i dream you'll make me smile again

but should i throw that dream away

is it alright if i keep crying

or should i hold that back too

would i just be wasting my tears

if those tears were for you

can i keep on thinking of you

everyday and everynight

or do i have to push you out

because i won't ever win this fight..



+ alone.. even when i'm not.. +





| tiffany. 2:16 AM|

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--

+ fake +

i'm going to smile like there's nothing wrong but underneath i cry..

i'm gonna let only the brightest light shine when you look in my eyes..

i'm gonna pretend that what you did, didn't hurt me.

put a mask over my body so the depression you won't see.

i'll walk past you and try not to look destroyed when you say hi..

and i'll fight back the thousand tears from the night before when you say bye..

i'll be doing just fine when i'm next to you..

but the second i'm alone. i become see through.

my hurt will show from the deepest part of me..

and all disappointment filling my mind you'll be able to see..

but the moment people are around i change, and only happy things i say..

and until i get over you this is how i'll be.. like an actor from a tragic love play..


+ she doesnt love me. because of what i am. +





| tiffany. 2:07 AM|

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Monday, December 22, 2003

--

+ am back ! +

went thai for 5-6 daes wif national youth team. whoa~ great experience man. i mean watchin e thais playin bball la. we played 4 matches altogether and we won 1 match onli. hAa. so pathetic. darn! dey were far too strong le la. most of dem damn muscular. gers leh. muscular. i wanna train til like dem lo. wanna hav toning on my arms. hAa! my coach is damn damn damn cute! though i noe shuang feng (coach) earlier den e rest do i dunno she is sooooooooooo 38 one lo! den cute somemore. though most of e time she vy fierce and she oways hurt us wif her words la. dunno is gd or bad leh. realised her temper damn no gd. worst den me. damn str8 forward oso. if am nt wrong i rem e 3rd dae we went to pattaya check in den i ask her somethin. she scolded me infront of everyone until so jialet. damn sia suay lo for a 18 yrs old ger kena scolded infront of so many ppl. sigh~ i kp quiet la. cannot argue back one lo. wil nv win her. her mouth too poison liaos. and if am nt wrong she hate ppl who tok back her.

1st dae, went bangkok. i was damn look forward to visit the Adidas outlet factory, tot will buy alot alot clothes. in the end yupp bought plenty, bt i like spent 1/3 of my money oready. sianss la, brought too little cash oready. hmm den go check in. eat. liaos.. everydae and every meal eat Tom yam! except for breakfast. den i was like, addicted to thai's tom yam liaos. hAa. nice leh. sour and spicy. hmm 2nd dae, prepare for our 1st match @ some christian sch. tot we wld lose to dem man, in the end we won. heh. dey played quite well. esp hui. seriously i tink she played well. hmm though dey are fitter and stronger den us. we stil won! aft tt match is the guy's turn. while watchin at e guys, dose primary sch kids in tt sch exactly gif us papers and want our autographs! hAahAa! so cute! den their hairdo all e same one. so cuteeee! eh den 3rd dae. started to shag. all we do was, eat, slp in e bus, play. we r nt really focus on diz trip purpose lo. die. heh. eh den bad things happened man. nite time, aft playin wu-gui-wu-gui-tiao in coach's rm, coach wan us to slp bt we told her we stil wanna play den she scolds us la obvious den she suddenly went outta my rm which is connected to her's. the opposite rm is weibin's rm. damn! she went in and smell the smoke. poor juli (weibin's rm-mate) was questioned by her. in a no choice condition she hav to sae its weibin who smoke. den coach locked herself, weibin n juli in e rm tokin. tok quite long man. nobody dare to come outta their rm. esp me n boi. e most scary part~ coach came into my rm. she glare at me. she asked "don tink i dunno u smoke too ok? i din sae onli" cuz juz nw boi din close e door which link to coach's rm properly and she juz push e door in and tok to me whn i juz came outta e bathrm. i smoke in dere. how suay. bo bian liaos, i admitted. scare she ask boi gt smoke anot man. sians. aft tt like no freedom, we cant go outta our rm anymore, nt even tok on fone wif daze. how sians! she wan us to SLP! urgh! den 3rd dae, went pattaya lo. as usual, aft match we eat den check in to a spooky hotel. so shit one. dere's a smell on every part of e rm. and dey were old and creepy. boi n me went to angela n sze nee's rm slp ah. hAahAa! we diz 2 nan ren don dare oso. hAa! e farniest thin. we open big big our toilet door while bathin. too scary liaos la! somemore we kp scarin ourselves. hAa imagine things tt wont happen. how silly. eh 4th dae was a sians one. cannot go out play pool and muz stay in tt farkin hotel. played daidee as usual. 5th dae, yay! go back bangkok. go back to our 5stars hotel again. eh b4 goin back dere, we went to e bench! pattaya is famous for their bench la. went parachuting. eh nt exactly tt la, shld b para-sailing. alot ppl went to play oready until somethin bad happen man. whn its yunya's turn, e ppl dere din gif proper signal whn yunya's bucket to e parachute is nt bucket yet, she was lifted up. bcuz of e bucket yunya flew half way and den she dropped into e sea!!! how dangerous! i see liaos oso heart pain whn i saw her fell into e sea. we were like so helpless. fortunately, dere's oways a life jacket. bad bad bad experience man! her face turned green lo i susposed. *phew* no injury eh. at nite time, we were allow to go outta e hotel to e nite market to shop! wahhh another experience again man! cuz hAahAa! boi n me were ask by a person fr a pub i suspose to c sex show! siaoooss one! c sex show?! i was like huh i ger leh.. though i abnormal la. bt hAahAa shy la i told her. den i peep into e pub, eh actually oso no nid peep one, e door so open to let us c man. we saw alot gers dancing, pole-dance. *weee-youu-weee* dey wear bikini lo. hmm most of dem damn chio one leh. mai siao siao. e person kp persuading us to go in siao one. stil gt menu sae watch wad pussy how much tt kind. hAahAa! messy place. lucky our team manager dunno ah. newae aft e nite walk, we took tuk tuk back to our hotel. so cool~ like motorbike liddat. bt diz can sit 4 ppl one. eh thai so unsafe, e tuk tuk man ride damn fast. -heart pop out- ohhh ya~ thai damn cold! last last yr i went nt tt cold lo. dunno y. hav to wear sweater whneva we go man. eh hmm den we buy liquor! how nice! eh its nt e whole team la. basically, our team like spilt into 2 groups. so-called e chong ghee and e anti-chong ghee. hmm bt nw okok le la. gt mix ard, beta den tt time we were in spore. heh! 6th dae, come back liaos la.

feedback: learnt alot things fr coach lo and she inspires me. like how to kp my body in gd condition. muz go gym often liaos. though i cannot use my leg rite? i stil gt hands. shall take more weights. and i gt big big belly le!!!!! go thai all i do is eat eat eat eat! haiyo! scary.. eh realised sarah damn fan. she kp attractin ppl's attention. vy sians lo. guan hua told me, he all along don like sarah one lo. sehz. tot sarah n him quite close one. he said he object weili n sarah to b together one lo. diao. hmm newae suan le la. tink in spore she wont liddat liaos.

okok orite. e rest i don wanna sae le. its bad stuffs. shall leave gd memories. sigh.. i noe wad i mean can le. to me, diz trip is nt as fun as i tot. mayb i expect too much. mayb somethin else. last time i tot frens r e best, dey wont hurt me like e one i love do. nah.. am wrong. i do get hurt too. heart wil pain. eyes wil tear.. mind wil kp askin ques. i care too much le tt'z y i hurt. hAa. its ok nw. hmm shall end here..

+ happy = sad +




| tiffany. 11:40 PM|

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Monday, December 15, 2003

--

+ sms her for 3 hrs man.. +

Around 12am plus plus, she msged me. she said she cannot be fren wif me bcuz i hurt her too much. obviously i replied back and sound damn blardy hell sarcastic again. we quarrelled again. b4 she msged me e dae b4 ydae we oready quarrel. i threw my temper on her suddenly whn she msg me. darn. i was damn mean. my mood aint gd ma. den i sae unpleasant words again lo. if i were her rite? i wil find my brothers to beat me up le. i juz gt a bad mouth. k our conversation on e dae b4 ydae was i told her i shouted sians whn i saw lm. ha. i damn childish la. bt den i dunno lm gt hear me anot lo. cuz i was facin huifen whn i said tt den huifen tok to me n di siao me tt kind la. c lm n walked past her i oso nv sae anythin. damn sians oready plus she's my rival leh. lr scolded me for shoutin at her la obvious, bt she dunno anything den she sound like she is protectin lm den i obviously damn bu shuang la. i sarcastic back. den sae until she don dare reply le. was damn damn damn bad. tt time i noe i vy bad bt i stil do it. sure sae i wil regret n stuffs rite? no lo. i juz wanna sae wad i feel. i've been damn honest to lr one lo. her bad pts i everythin oso tel her liaos tt made her damn pissed n she tink she is worthless nw. ha. serve her rite. i admit i cant get her n i lose to lm den i bcum so mean. i admit i petty. i admit i wanna hurt her back bcuz she hurt me 1st. so wad? i don care. hmm den our conversation last nite was she said i ruin her reputation. i kp tellin ppl how she leaded me on, how she hurt me, how bad is she. ya i admit. its true. so wad? i don care. diz is my purpose wad. noe wad? she dunno how much hurt she gave me lo. she mean to me 1st. its pay back time. if she kp tinkin i wanna go tel ppl how bad she was den go ahead la. actually is my frens tel me how bad is her 1st den i noe abt her everythin lo. oh pls. all is my frens tel me one. my frens told me le den i add on la.. ya diz one my fault la. i admit. i backstabbed her. bt she is rubbing salt on my wound lo. haizz.. =( den around 2plus liddat she told me actually she gt feelin for me one. kao. i don buy diz. she said she stil gt feelin for me bt aft wad i've told her, hurt her n sarcastic at her, she don dare to feel anymore. my sarcarsm over-powered her feelin oready. den i replied her, gd wad. liddat den i wont gif her chance to let her hurt me again. -shrugs- though actually i feel a lil happi la. very very lil onli. cuz i don dare believe her oready. last time stil wil believe abit. nw she gt lm liaos stil sae diz kinda things to me. even if she said diz kinda thin to me n i turn back rite? we wont b together one. its difficult to zhui her one. cuz too much things happened le. she stil sae wanna change. nw she tel me gt feelin. glad tt her feelin for me numb le. sigh. was shocked whn she said i hurt her more den mah did. piang tot is mah hurt her alot lo. i don get man. den i told her mah hurt her cuz of love, den is one person thin. i hurt her cuz of she treated me as fren, den everyone like don like her liaos den is alot ppl thin. haiya actually is nt everyone don like her lo. she assumed she don hav frens one. is she herself wanna anti-social one k? weiling stil loves her alot lo. diz is wad she told me la. like so mushy liddat whn she said. ha. den daze dey all actually quite sad whn i told dem lr said my frens is my frens liaos, her frens is her frens liaos. wad e hell man? though lr is really a lil dangerous bt.. no matter wad dey stil treat her as frens one lo. if nt her bdae dey wont organise outin n buy expensive jeans for her le. and whn she cried like dunno wad tt time whn she n mah gt prob, dey wil jolly well leave her alone one. eh!? sae til tt time.. i treated her damn damn gd tt time lo. whn she everydae cry n cry. i oways go find her. acc her. bring her go out. happi. den she really vy happi lo. somemore tt time we pure frens. no chemistry tt kind. i don love her tt time. kao den nw i quarrel wif her i throw temper i bcum mad liaos..she juz leave me alone. noe wad? i even msged her tt time to spot check her. den she wil smiles whn she c my msg one lo. i make her so happi. and i treated her as fren den i liddat one. sigh.. 6mths liaos. fly so fast. we happi 3mths, mad 3mths. dunno whn r we gonna stop diz. she said she wont tok abt diz anymore le in e future. bt is like aft every each quarrel rite, she said tt. ha. dunno la. noe wad? nw i oready initiate to b fren wif her oready. everytime i pretend tt i don hate her. she nv hurt me b4. like normal frens. wad else she wants fr me? i tried so hard noe? try nt to touch her. muz stay a distance awae. haiya cuz i used to it le ma. acutally i hate her so much tt i really don wanna b fren wif her bt i control. and i pretend until so naturally den she sae i hypocrites. diz kinda thin how nt to pretend. she don wanna take initiative den i take la. everythin oso i 1st. sians ah.. haizz ok tt'z all for todae.

+ i love her bt i cant love her +




| tiffany. 12:58 PM|

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Saturday, December 13, 2003

--

| tiffany. 4:19 AM|

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--

+ i was damn pissed todae +

morn wake up tot cn go work.. bt den weather too cold oready. put medicine and continue to slp. den slp and eat at hm. damn bored. cuz of my damn knee i muz locked myself at hm. sianss. waiting for the time for sp trg. whn i rched dover, i saw lm on the platform. noe how i feel? i tot i can feel notin or wad, bt am nt!!!!!!!! i don like diz feelin!!! i saw her and she saw me bt we nv wave or wad. i went dwn n kp chantin to myself to kp cool. cannot ask lr or quarrel. newae i oso hav no right to do tt liaos. so i juz tel her i saw lm. she said she noe. den i sae "wahh so sweet huh send u to sch" i was like damn damn damn bloody hell sians lo. lan zhong cup i dunno how to face dem lo. i feel a little hurt.. really a little la. jealous and angry more den hurt. i oso dunno y? i get over oready? or feelin jealous is normal? bcuz i cant get her and i don wan anyone to get her. bt noe wad? i din get so much hurt is bcuz i tink she gt a new ger oready.. a new someone special den me tt'z y i cn gif her up easily.. easier den last time. bcuz last time all she hav is me or mah. nw is like.. piang a outsider came in. diz time i muz really act. act am gettin over her le. act whn i c lm i wont feel sad. i wont get hurt. muz pretend. mayb sooner or lata i wont feel tt way le.. gif me time. haizz i damn selfish! i msged wl to ask if she free anot, wanna ask her out. she told me she is goin shoppin wif u noe who?! emily mah! diao. her again. i was wondering.. wl like mah? cuz is like boi told me whn i was drunk i said i wanna zhui back wl. hmm zhui-in her back is near to impossible. cuz all e while i tink she oready get over me. she treats me like close fren. close until like she treat me like lr liddat. damn close fren. pure frens onli. i cannot sense she stil love me lo. as in.. last time yes. bt she told me she became very strong tt time whn me n lr hurt her deep. haiz! i gt damn farkin mad whn i noe e person is mah lo. her again! like we r goin to zhui e same person. 1st lr nw wl. piang.. our circle so small. newae i din declare i wanna zhui her. bcuz.. i don wan wl or ppl sae whn dere's a obstacle den i wanna take action. like last time dere's gekko who wanna zhui her den tt time i was wif zeyun, i noe gekko wanna zhui wl tt'z y i go tel wl i stil love her ans stuff. am a jerk rite? seriously tt time we had a great time lo. we noe each other more den e time we were together. actually i din tel her i love her back directly, is tt time we online we sorta tok abt diz kinda thing... haiya she damn smart la. she sense dao i like her lo. so nw i don dare show anything. tt time i was in hospital, she came to look aft me and tt time den i realised she is the only one who treats me damn gd. she came everydae and leave whn e nurse ask her to. i told daze abt diz, she said if she nv go hospital i wont fall back for her one. so is nt i really love her, i only like her. i only love lr nw. den i was confused. tt'z is oso e reason y i nv take any initiate of zhui-in wl back cuz e whole world noe i stil love lr and haven get over her lo! damn complicated. mayb nw i tink wl suits me alot and stuffs is only for nw, next time whn i really get over lr i wont tink tt way le.. am waiting.. am waiting for the time i get over her. i don wan wl to be spare tyre again. she was one whn i juz break up wif yanbing. tt ger.. make me used 2 yrs to get over her. lr? i dunno how long. mayb faster cuz she gonna b wif lm le. eh den aft tt go online.. sae tanya's blog. kao she kp changin e names! i sians. is like y she change so fast. like lr liddat. say change jiu change. i hate ppl who change so fast! fickle-minded. urgh! den sorta quarrel wif her. dunno how to sae oso. wad i wanna sae i all tel tanya le. hope she understands how i feel. sorrie tanya~

+ whn den can i don feel hurt? +




| tiffany. 3:53 AM|

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Friday, December 12, 2003

--

+ quite happy nw+

early in e morn stupid weiling come my hse n wake me up. sianss.. bery tired leh. so cruel call me wake up den i go watch tv she slp on my bed. aft so much nua-ing and slpin.. we finally decided to cook. she bought linguine and campbell. susposed to cook wif her.. she cook creamy pasta and i cook tomato one.. bt haiya i lazie la. gosh!~ in e end her skills is damn.. erm.. ahem lousy? haha abit skill-less la. e linguine too hard and e sauce nt bery tasty. ahah den she ask me don tel anyone.. cuz bery paiseh. i heck! muaha! nowadaes gers dunno how to cook de meh? lousy.. lr oso dunno how to cook one man. last time cook 3 dishes 1 soup wif her she onli help me cut n wash. ahha cannot make it. eh aft e horrible lunch we go american sch for some frenly match lo. hee! i gt new jersey. feel so bad whn i cant play on court wif dem. don sae play on court la.. my knee hurt so much ydae. walk oso gt prob man. eh newae my team trash dem!! haha during e match i tok too much liaos.. den stupid coach scolded me. damn sia suay man.. haha next time i =X hmph! eh newae aft match we go celebrate pl's bdae lo. drink damn alot!! actually i muz make pl lose alot den cn make her kp drinking.. in e end my mission failed. i drank alot.. den drunk.. den sae wrong things i suspose. kao! bud told me i kp chanting names. so lame! den i do stupid action, daze took dwn my actions on e digi cam! spoilt my image liaos la! is damn lost form cn! haha long time nv so drunk b4 liaos.. lame leh.. i slipped in e toilet den hurt my useless knee again. vomited dunno how many times lo. nw like gt phobia oready. don like e feelin. den c volka i oso feel like vomitin. diao.. i love volka alot one lo actually. hee cn quit drinkin la. hmm.. i threw awae e pac of cigerette le man. dunno diz time really cn quit anot. hope so la. heh. eh aft all e tipsy nite, pl treated us steamboat! wahhh my fav steamboat noe?! eat until i bery guilty. tml cannot eat lunch liaos.. i fat back le. haha. cannot make it. eh shall end here.. slpin time!

+ things change a little +




| tiffany. 2:19 AM|

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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

--

+ let go a little oready +

long time no update le cuz my mouse spoilt. sickening. heh recently am beta le. though i stil miss her alot. mayb in e nite. i couldnt concentrate my studies. i look at book i tink of her. is like really really cannot concentrate tt kind lo. no choice. bt i tend to let go a little a little dae by dae le. infact i stil call her and ask her how's her n lm le. unbelieveable rite?! hmm well, during trg todae i stay a distance fr her. tink she can sense one lo. haiyo i muz initiate to do all diz lo. if nt she wil feel weird n stuffs again. call her jus nw. talk a lil. tot she was sians jus nw aft trg cuz she took bus hm. take bus bery long one ma.. den if she is nt feelin feelin den y she take bus? den she told me she cried. darn! y?! i ask her den she said like bery restricted liddat. wad she do wad she gonna sae she muz tink twice. haiyo.. ger ah.. is liddat one lo. wad u reap is wad u sow. eh dunno izzit liddat sae. newae means u use wad type of seed to plant wad type of flower come out lo. u've to handle diz all by ya own. hmm i stil tel her if next time she ever quarrel wif lm and was damn sad bout it rite? call me. confide in me. i sure advice her one lo. seriously i swear. hmm cannot deny i don hav feelin for her oready lo. bt haiya frens ma. since i oready initiate to b frens wif her den b e best frens lo. hee! newae she bought eeyore pillow for me. was quite shocked and i was like wahhh so gd, haven forget she own me one. hee den i cn bring it to thai and hug liaos. was wondering which eeyore am gonna bring. cuz my eeyore is nt too big or too small. bt haiya if i bring tt eeyore pillow lr bought for me. hui dey all found out le wil tot i stil love her alot cannot let go n stuffs. haiyo.. am tryin nw le. bery stable liaos.. don push me. i don wanna b shaky anymore. seriously, i can do it one lo.

hmm aft talkin to lr, i feel so much like callin weiling. den we talk alot lo. non-stop tt kind. tink talk bout 1hr plus. talk until i feel a lil tired. long time no liddat oready. feel so ease and easy. recently had a hard time. -phew!- its over. hmm.. newae tml national youth is competing american sch! hee i ask lr n wl go watch. heh heh. hope we win la. den we are the qiang-est liaos. bleh. tml get jersey oso.. i don wan kuku no!! hmm i let jinghui get no9. hmm am indecisive oso. dunno wan no9 or 6 leh. aft all i still code zero nine one lo. hmm boi oso wad. haa !! tt'z y i indecisive ma.. hmm c how la. oritey! shall end here..

+ slowly slowly.. time heals pain +


| tiffany. 2:42 AM|

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Monday, December 01, 2003

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+ why am i still reminisce the past? +

ger: haha! okie.. tt's a deal huh.. oh, am ur attached liao ah? den wad muz i change ya name to leh?cuz i put wq as attached liao.. put u as ger fren k? haha! :: 19o5 ::
ger: haha! so fast miss me le ah? keke! eh, do u mind ppl sayin abt us? if u do den next time i don so close wif u.. :: 21o5 ::
ger: huh.. dun b so sweet to me cn.. u noe wad, sometimes is nt tt i feel notin towards e things u said n do bt i don dare to show it out.. am afraid.. :: 23o6 ::
ger: hush hush.. don cry le k? someone worth ya tears wont make u cry de.. i onli like my ger fren to smile n laugh happily.. *sayang* :: 23o6 ::
ger: i miss u.. :: 23o6 ::
ger: -attached knocks hard on ger fren's head- its time to jia you k? tml i wont b dere to watch bt i'll stil support u morally k? -stretch out my fist to u- =) :: 25o6 ::
ger: -attached tries hard to spite ger fren- arghh! y my ger fren played so badly! cannot make it leh.. hahahaha! spite spite spite spite spite spite spite spite!!! :: 25o6 ::
ger: aww.. -attached uses her idex finger n tickles ger fren's chin- don b sad le hao bu hao? -sorry wif both hands- :: 25o6 ::
ger: alright, lets nt quarrel abt diz k? am jus tellin u.. one more thing, u r jus as impt too ya? don b silly to tink otherwise.. :: 26o6 ::
ger: haha! i understand its hard for u bt u shld try.. she's nt as bad as u tink.. hmm, i won "leave u unless u wanna leave me la.." i can stil handle it.. :: 27o6 ::
ger: alright, guess i muz admit.. haha! ger fren, i miss u.. tk care! :: 27o6 ::
ger: hey my dear ger fren, wanted so much to pei u n b dere for u whn u r down bt i cldnt.. so sorry.. bt hope u wil really fight on n stay strong k? :: 28o6 ::
ger: -attached cries out loud- boo hoo! ger fren abandon me n tries to noe other gals wif jenna! den leave me all alone here to slp!! i don fren dem le.. hmph!! :: 30o6 ::
ger: huh.. no la, i cn really understand how u feel towards ethg.. am nt urs n yet u hav to do so much tinkin tt i don care rite? its ok, am sorry too.. :: 30o6 ::
ger: ya, tt's y i said if u really don wan den don send him.. i forgot am selfish too.. am sorry k? -bows to apologize- so stupid of me.. i hit myself for u.. keke :: 30o6 ::
ger: huh..makin me confused le la.. i punish myself for u le so u cannot b upset le k? i don wan to c u sad.. i don like n don wish to coz u r my dear ger fren.. :: 30o6 ::
ger: r u tinkin wad am thinkin ger fren?- attached wonders if ger fren is msgin me- haha! sometimes i wonder y will i get jealous wor.. gdnite to u... :: 02o7 ::
ger: hey sweetie, rest well tonite k? hmm, i guess i'll miss u lots too.. msg u tml ya? tk care cuz i care.. *hugs* :: 02o7 ::
ger: -touched to tears- oh man... u r jus so sweet to me u noe.. y cant u b dere earlier? :: 07o7 ::
ger: yeah yeah!! its a brand new dae!! is somebody missing somebody? heh! well, bored to death? let my little msg by e by the little chiobu to cheer u up.. haha! morning! :: 08o7 ::
ger: cuz i told her to tel u to gif up de.. heh! is all e waitin worth it? we dunno.. r u happy? u don look like u r.. :: 23o7 ::
ger: i promised to try n b a nice gf.. since am attached to u, i'll definitely try my best to keep it goin.. i noe u wil make me xin fu de.. luvya.. :: 23o7 ::
ger: okie, i promise u i'll do my best for u.. i really meant it when i said luvya k.. so mean! :: 23o7 ::
ger: ur dear now is busy being an engineer.. drawin dunno wad stupid model! super tedious! ahhahaha! hmm, i miss u suddenly.. :: 24o7 ::
ger: no la, i cn b sweet to u too de.. jus wait n see! muahahaaha! feel like seeing u now wor.. bt nvm la.. :: 24o7 ::
ger: its okie, its juz a thing.. if its in ur heart, u wil hav all e power of it =) jia you k? don b so stressed up.. :: 27o7 ::
ger: hey my dear, reach home le gif me a call or msg k? am lying on bed liao bt guess i will hear my hp ring de.. muz tk gd care huh.. :: 28o7 ::
ger: still rem wad i told u last nite? ya, i can sense tt u r very sian n hurt again.. i shld hav gone to mit u de bt i din.. :: 28o7 ::
ger: cuz i noe it myself.. i don wan to hurt anyone or wad anymore.. am very tired tt's y nw i jus wanna b alone.. y b so gd to me whn i don deserve to hav u? :: 29o7 ::
ger: gt on e train le ba? ya, i noe u wanna occupy urself wif stuffs bt tt's nt e way.. u r jus gonna b too tired.. gif urself some free space.. at least for us. :: 30o7 ::
ger: tt's wad u tink wad.. don hav to work so hard de lo.. i rather we go out buy nthg den u go work n earn money.. :: 30o7 ::
ger: i din mean to say all those bt pls tink awhile for me.. am really tired of listening to wad ppl tink n nt wad am tinkin.. haiz, i'll breakdown de.. :: 30o7 ::
ger: y r u so bad todae? i cried le.. don wish to tok to u or mention ur tw frens anymore.. am tired.. tk care.. :: 30o7 ::
ger: i really feel like dying le.. its too painful.. juz feel like hurtin myself le.. don say anymore.. :: 30o7 ::
ger: ya, i'll make myself many times more painful den u.. its all my fault n am sorry.. by hurting onself will forget e pain n tiredness.. tk care.. don reply le.. :: 30o7 ::
ger: crazy! don work til so hard la! mad or wad? cn listen to me anot?! ya, brought e jeans.. nearly forgot abt it.. need plenty of rest de lo.. guai la.. :: 31o7 ::
ger: no lor! u wake up earlier den me! lidat is 13hrs leh! longer den mine.. i work bt u stil cn go out wif others ma n its like ur job has to carry heavy stuffs! :: 31o7 ::
ger: huh? i type wrongly lor! i mean i work for money n NOT cuz i wanna c her.. pls don b like diz k? i oso don wan to quarrel.. i really tired le.. :: 31o7 ::
ger: her ger, on my way hm nw.. wad r u doin? gif u a call whn i reach hm ya? :: 31o7 ::
ger: u make me dunno wad to say.. mayb early mornin am still in a slpy mode ba.. where r u nw? jus hav a feelin u r very sian.. tryin to b strong.. :: 04o8 ::
ger: hahahaha! mr bin gan xian sheng, u muz really promise tt u'll listen to me hao ma? haiz.. i c u lidat really heart pain lor.. :: 13o9 ::
ger: hey hey! u noe i don like u to say tt de! don b silly la.. come on! who bully u tell me den i beat dem uo for u.. ya lor, we long time nv had so much fun le.. :: 27o9 ::
ger: hey ger fren.. sthg's wrong.. hmm, btw u n me.. yup, tk care n hav an early nite.. :: 301o ::
ger: so late still haven slp ah? muz b still studyin rite? nah, mayb am being sensitive.. haha! juz feel tt sthg's wrong lor bt dunno wad..hmm, nvm... hee! :: 301o ::
ger: orhh.. no ah, i feel tt sthg's wrong very long ago lo.. juz tt we oways make things worse.. oh okie, am studyin! u beta don slack! muz study! :: 301o ::
ger: oh okie.. den u beta study hard tml.. who says i don miss.. in fact i miss those times alot.. wad tinkin abt tt every now n den bt juz tt i din say.. :: 301o ::
ger: i nv tot of nt haven u b4.. really! even though we oways quarrelled bt i really miss u de.. i don dare to say cuz i scared u will say am very fake.. :: 301o ::
ger: u really nt bothering me n i din mean to say u r fan.. it was outta anger.. if u r really gettin over me, den i shldnt msg u again de.. sorry :: 301o ::
ger: no la.. if u wanna get over tt person, u cannot contact e person for some time de.. isnt diz wad u told me? :: 301o ::
ger: hey pig! u slp liao ah? hahaha! gdnite to u den.. muz slp well k? may e angel i oways draw in ur book watch over u thru e nite... -hugs- :: 301o ::
ger: hey ger fren! rched hm late last nite? am off to work le.. oh long time din c or hear ur voice le.. u muz tk gd care of urself hor.. :: 1211 ::
ger: mornin my dear! stil fuming hot? hee! don b angry oh.. i buy eeyore for u hao ma? bu yao angry ma.. :: 1411 ::
ger: oh no wonder ydae u kp sayin buy me ultraman! hahaha! okie, call me whn u finish work den.. i'll doll up myself b b ur ger fren for one dae ba! haha! :: 1411 ::
ger: its hard to get back 100% of e love u hav given.. tt's y whn we r willing to gif ethg, we don expect any return from e other party.. nite :: 1611 ::
ger: cuz i wanna noe la.. bt seriously, if ever u hav someone, i wont b so close wif u de.. cannot ma.. haha! bt stil close in heart la.. :: 1811 ::
ger: wa.. i tot u nt gonna hav any more steads other den me for e rest of ur life man.. hahah! yup.. :: 1811 ::
ger: ger fren..! feel so much beta aft msgin wif u.. was in a super foul mood in e mornin man.. hahaha! u go ger! thx! hee! :: 1811 ::
ger: ger fren! i might b late k? bus hav to wait very long de.. den i stil hav to go hm tk my stuff.. eh, u wait for me huh! cannot go in 1st hor! bleh! :: 1811 ::
ger: hahahaha! yeah man yeah man.. den same same ma.. nice nice.. ppl wil tot we patch up again.. hahahaha! -grin- :: 1911 ::
ger: hey ger fren! thx for e dinner.. really enjoy myself tonite.. oh man, thx alot sweetie.. tk care on ur way hm ya? luvya.. :: 1911 ::

yea no more to write le.. diz r msges lr sent. all saved in a folder in my fone. abit lame la.. i still kp it for so long.. am so silly.. actually wanna write how i feel towards every each msg she sent de.. bt is like kinda bad.. sigh! i oso dunno wad to sae.. mayb next entry write her gd stuffs.. if she's really tt bad den i wont love her so much le rite?!?! so u noe? after all.. she's e best.. my one and only one.. bt too bad la.. we're not meant to be le.. its a confirm~

+ we are not meant to be +




| tiffany. 3:02 AM|

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